A family member told me recently: “I would rather read the Metro than reading your book”
The first day I cried, the second day I reflected and the third I laughed so loud thinking who cares…
Is your parenting criticized by friends and family ?
How do you cope with constant looks from neighbors when your child has a meltdown?
What do you say to your family members when they tell you to be tougher with your kids?
How do you negotiate effectively with your child?
You probably heard similar sentences before…..
‘One slap and you will teach him a lesson’
If you were my child I would give you for adoption’
‘Why don’t you just ignore him and let him come back to his senses.’
You are the parent, you know your child best and NO this is not going to work because violence doesn’t get resolved with more violence and punishment will just send the wrong message and will alienate you from your child.
Empathy and reflection when done calmly might go against your instant instincts or against the way you were brought up as a child but I believe this is the way to go.
As a parent your ‘job’ is to help listen and emphasize with your child’s frustration, reflect and let your child understand how to correct his or her behavior in a peaceful manner
As a result your child understands that you understand their frustration and their feelings and that you will do so in the future with unconditioned love and support when your child needs you the most.
Your initial respond to a shrinking scream would be to shout back at your child or raise your voice, it isn’t natural for a parent to think about calming and soothing your child first when your child is aggressive towards you however. it is an opportunity to get closer to your child and understand that the behavior is a reflection of their feelings and their build up frustration.
Sometimes is the lack of words to express themselves or the ability to moderate and calm down, then breathing is the key to regulate your child.
There is always a trigger, a child doesn’t just ‘go mad’ out of the blue- Go and find out why and don’t ignore the child feelings, time in this case will not solve it.
By reflecting and having a discussion about your child feelings we understand the child and strengthen the relationship for years to come.
The strength is within you to find the right balance and build the relationship with your children the way you want it to be.
Parents of ‘differently wired children’ get often misjudged or criticized by other parents who don’t understand your parenting style or your actions.
Listen to your inner voice to guide you in your relationship with your children and base it on empathy unconditional love rather than violence punishments and bribe.
I told my brother that it is entirely his choice to read the Metro. many parents (including those who needs it the most) will not try it but those who who will follow peaceful parenting principles are promised to see results.